The Bridge

*Coward: a person who lacks the courage to do or endure unpleasant or dangerous things.

Nepal is no place for cowards. Had I known that in January, I never would have signed up as a trip chaperone, for I was born a coward, and have lived my entire life avoiding anything remotely dangerous. But how fortuitous for me, that I didn’t know, because I would have missed the trip of a lifetime!

The four hour bus ride from Kathmandu to Border Lands careened up and down mountain roads with no guard rail in sight; I had a window seat where It was all to easy to imagine plunging over the side of the cliff to certain death. I finally just shut my eyes and pretended to sleep. It was a little too early in the trip to admit my cowardice to my traveling companions.

Along with my physical cowardice, I also have acrophobia--an irrational or debilitating fear of heights. Our service trip began by walking 5 kilometers to arrive at Panchakanya School. You can imagine my horror, when, in order to reach the school, we had to cross a 100 foot suspension bridge swaying over the raging Bhote Koshi river. My heart sunk, my ears began to ring, my legs turned to jelly, and I hadn’t even taken the first step. I watched with incredulity as each one of our students scampered across without a backward glance. Several of them were even walking side by side, chatting!

Reminding myself that I was a chaperone, and I couldn’t do my job telepathically, I croaked for help. Immediately, Prem, our master guide was at my side, and began to calm me down. I have no friends or family members that could have convinced me to cross that bridge. I would have looked them in the eye and told them “No Way!”, along with a few other scalding words. But Life is full of surprises. Who would have guessed that on the other side of the world, there lived a man who could get me to do something I never thought possible? I knew that he was one of Nepal’s most experienced and fearless guides. It also helped that I had heard how he’d saved a woman from falling off a cliff by leaping after her. I felt reasonably confident that he would do the same for me. He patiently took both my hands and slowly led me across. I swear that walk lasted 20 minutes, but in reality, it was probably only 2. Upon reaching the other side, everyone -- our students, staff, villagers and children--all were there to congratulate me. I felt like the star of a reality television show--and not the one who wins the series.

There were other challenges remaining, but none quite so daunting as crossing that bridge, which I did another 7 times, each time, clinging tightly to Prem’s hands. I easily resisted the peer pressure to go canyoning, by volunteering to photograph everyone else. As a chaperone, I don’t think I had a prouder moment than when I watched all of our kids, Trish, and Jennifer successfully rappel down 150 meters of waterfalls. Absolutely amazing. The overnight trek up to the top of a mountain was exhausting, but exhilarating. We felt like we were on top of the world as we watched the sun rise over terraced villages as far away as China. It was breathtakingly beautiful. The number of magical moments consistently outweighed the fearful ones, and I found myself not wanting the adventure to end.
Has my view of myself changed? Not really. I’m still know myself to be a big chicken. I probably won’t ever choose to go to the top of the Empire State building or the Eiffel tower. But, I will always have the memory of accomplishing one seemingly impossible thing.

With heartfelt gratitude and appreciation, to the man who made it possible--Prem, the fearless!

Tyler visits Istanbul

What a treat it was to have Tyler come visit for a few days! He grabbed a Turkish Airlines flight direct from Los Angeles, and arrived here on March 23, after 15 or 16 long hours in the air. He was up bright and early the next day, ready to explore the Grand Bazaar. Because he was only here a few days, I let Devlin play hooky from school and go with us.

No one can traverse the bazaar without spending time in a carpet shop. Even if you have no plans of looking at carpets, somehow you are reeled in by the bazaar professionals. Maegan had given him strict instructions NOT to buy a rug while he was here. Good thing. Because here's the one he almost went home with. We were assured that it was old, quite rare and very ususual. (aren't they all?) I thought it was overpriced, at about $1400. Rugs are always priced in dollars, not lire. It sounds less expensive when it rolls off their slippery tongues.

Later that day, Tyler got Devlin to do the impossible. They both visited a traditional Turkish Hamam. They went to Cembirlitas, which is just around the corner from the Grand Bazaar, and was built by Sinan in the 1600's. It's a well known local hammam, visited by regulars and tourists alike. When they emerged and I asked how it was, Tyler said it was like taking a bath with a bunch of strangers. Which is why I have never gone. 

The next two days we hit the Sultanhamet area pretty hard. We spent most of Friday morning at the Hagia Sophia. I hadn't been there since the 30 year old scaffolding was taken down, and was astonished at how much more impressive the space is. Tyler's amazement came from a construction point of view. Keeping in mind that it was built in the 500's, and was finished in 5 years, it really is awe inspiring.

One of my favorite mosiacs from the Aya Sophia

Usually when I go to Sultanhamet, I take the metro, because traffic is horrendous, and parking is non existent. However, with Jim in Iraq, I've been told that Gokan is at my disposal. Not wanting to face the 3 different crowded metro stops, I had him pick us up in front of Sultanhamet square at 3:00. When he arrived, he was accosted by a policeman--" Go! No cars here!" Quick thinking Gokan told the policeman that I was the wife of an American diplomat, which made everything just fine. (I don't think it was the American part--just the diplomat part) 

Lunch inside the clay pot

We had pretty fair weather while he was here; sunny and in the 60's. This is one city that you want to see in good weather. We ate lunch at a place that Amy and Landon recommended. They serve a traditional Anatolian dish of meat and vegetables cooked in a clay pot. The waiter creates quite a show when he comes out with the steaming pot, and slices off the clay top with a long butcher's knife.

Saturday we were back downtown, this time hitting Topkapi Palace early enough that there was no line. From there we went up to the Spice Market, where Tyler bought a few goodies to take back home. It was wall to wall people, and Turkish people have yet to learn their societal crowd rules. They push, shove and walk right into you without ever saying excuse me. We left there and went to Taxim Square, where the street is at least wider, so you can miss some of the jostling. We happened to go into a bookstore, where Tyler found a first printing of Michal Chabon's new book--and it was autographed! He snapped it up for $30.00, only to find it on ebay later, starting at $160.00.

At 7:30 Sunday morning, off we went to the airport, the 3 day whirlwind was over. But what a wonderful few days it was. I'm only sorry that Maegan was not able to come as well. And equally sorry that Jim wasn't able to get away from Iraq, to enjoy his son's company also. But I don't know when the last time was that Tyler and I spent time together. Maybe when I flew out to L.A. when he first moved there. And as all parents of grown children know, those times together are precious, just because they are so few.

February Happenings

Jim and Devlin heading into the Marines Barracks

It's been a busy week. It began Sunday, with the annual Super Bowl Chili Cook-off at the American Consulate. It was hosted by the Marines and as a goodwill gesture, the lone BSA troop in Istanbul was invited.

Valentine's Day Coffee morning

Jim made a two batches of chili, one with beans and one without. Sadly, neither were the big winner of the evening. Nor did we see the Super Bowl, as Istanbul is 8 hours ahead of the U.S. But it was fun to get together with friends and enjoy some Americana.




On Wednesday, we had our International Women of Istanbul Neighborhood Coffee. This month it was hosted by Tricia Cannis, who went all out for Valentine's Day. Tricia moved to Istinye Park last year, and has been all over the world. I love to go to her place, because it's filled with interesting furniture and accessories from all their travels.

I adore her red walls. When I saw them, I immediately wanted to paint our place. When I suggested it, Jim visibly blanched, so I dropped the subject. Plus, she has all her things with her. I really miss my own stuff when I see an apartment that is actually accessorized and looks like home.

L-R: Tricia, Nilgun, Tara, Alina, Jo and Anjali

Here are a few of the early arrivals, toasting with our morning Mimosas. L to R, is Tricia from Michigan, Nilgun from Istanbul, Tara from New York City, Alina from Germany, Jo from South Africa and Anjali from India. 

Anjali learning to make truffles

The next day, Anjali and I went to an IWI workshop called "Tarts & Truffles". It was put on by an American woman who worked as a pastry chef at a DC restaurant until she moved here a few months ago. We learned how to dip truffles, make sable dough, chocolate, caramel and lemon curd filling. Best of all, we got to taste everything we made.

Patricia hard at work

Truffles are a lot trickier to dip than one would imagine. Maybe I should say that the dipping is easy, but having them look perfectly smooth after dipping is a real challenge.

*Update: Anjali loved the chocolate making class so much, she went on to seriously study the art, and ultimately opened up her own very successful artisan chocolate shop in Singapore, named "Anjalichocolate"!  She now teaches others how to make chocolates.

Of all the IWI events I do, I love the cooking classes the best. They lend themselves well to cheerful chatter and laughter, and I always come away from them feeling like I've learned something useful.

Turkish Cooking Class

Patricia and Laure taught French Cooking

IWI photo from our French Cooking Classs

For something completely different, we ended the week working at the Don Bosco School for Iraqi Refugees. Our school had donated paint, brushes and volunteers to paint the classrooms of this charitable institution run by our church. So early Saturday morning, Jim, Devlin and I all showed up to help.

I don't know who was in charge of picking out the paint, but it never would have passed muster in any U.S. institution. It was Lavender! And it was the poorest quality of paint you can imagine. Clearly, it was not purchased at a store that uses one of those machines that shakes the can, either. We stirred that gloppy mess for quite some time. 

Because there was a shortage of ladders, Jim put one of the Iraqi students on his shoulders, to sand the spots on the wall that were too high to reach. He couldn't talk Devlin into climbing on. Devlin was convinced he'd cause his Dad bodily harm.   

Being the Construction professional that he is, Jim actually cut in the paint at the top. My job was to hold the ladder, as there was no brace on it, just a piece of green string holding the two sides together.  Those are metal pipes he's standing on pipe, not treads. It was the most dangerous piece of equipment I've ever seen.

However, he made it around the room without falling off, and our room got the award for best paint job!

But every time I look at that color......ugh.

Volunteer painters: Shakila, Suzi, Jim and Juan

Jim being a makeshift ladder

Thanksgiving

We had a real Thanksgiving feast last Thursday. We had a houseful of guests, lots of good food and drink, and even a turkey!

 Finding a turkey can be tricky, but in October, I had the forethought to ask if we could order one through our Happy Turkish Butcher.  "Evet, Evet" (yes, yes) he assured me.   When the time came to order,  I sent Jim,  all by himself, with a picture of a  turkey, and "Hindi" ("turkey") written below it.    Transactions done in foreign languages always unsettling.  When Jim came home he said, "Well,  I'm not sure if I just ordered one turkey that weighs 6 Kgs or 6 turkeys."

Lucky for me, it was just one turkey, because that one turkey cost 148 Turkish Lira. That translates to about 100 American dollars.  Ouch.

I had made plans with my friend Jamila, (one of the Halloween planners) to have Thanksgiving together, along with a few other families that live near by.  Jamila had planned to host it, however two days before Thanksgiving, her husband and son came down with the flu.  So we changed the locale to our house.  It just so happens that my new Turkish maid comes on Thursdays, so while I was busy cooking  in the kitchen, she was busy cleaning the rest of the house.  May I say wholeheartedly, THAT is the way to do it!  I never had to worry about a thing, except the food, which is the way it should be on Thanksgiving.

We had around 20 people, kids, teenagers and adults.  Between Jamila and I, we made two turkeys, a ham, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes,  broccoli, carrots, swiss chard, cornbread, biscuits,  cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce and pumpkin cheesecake.  Hatice (from Turkey) brought homemade dolmas (stuffed grape leaves), Elisa (Italy) brought chocolate salami--not salami really, just a yummy chocolate dessert in the shape of a salami, and Trisha brought the treat that every kid there was drooling over -- a box of real Krispy Kreme donuts!

Here's Tuncay, Hatice's husband getting ready to dig in.  Jamila is tossing her steamed broccoli and carrots with olive oil and lemon.  As you can see, everything is on the table but the turkey.  I really goofed.  I didn't remember to have Jim carve the turkey till everything else was on the table and ready to eat.  But the guests were very gracious about it all.

Here's Jim, Elisa (from Italy) and Joan (from Washington DC).  Joan's working on  her master's degree in Art History.    I guess because I was concentrating on getting photos, I forgot to tell Jim to carve those turkeys. But then once I remembered about the meat carving, I forgot to take any more pictures.

There were no football games on television, nor did anyone get the day off.  It was a regular school day for the kids.  But, as the house  filled with good company, laughter, and the aroma of roast turkey, it really was a day for which to be thankful.

Halloween

One of the strange things about living overseas, is how easy it is to let our native holidays pass unobserved. You have to work hard to celebrate Halloween and Thanksgiving, because no one else around you is. It's also when you notice how big a role the media really plays in promoting holidays. There are no newspaper ads for costumes or candy, no sales on Butterball turkeys, no magazine covers displaying scrumptious pumpkin pies. Absolutely nothing to warn you that a holiday is coming! So last year, Halloween was just another day on the calendar for most of us--especially those of us who had just arrived and were still in culture shock.

Tara at left, snapping a photo

My friend Tara, who is from New York, and has 3 small children, decided to change all that this year. She asked a few of us to help plan an "Istinye Park Halloween Trick or Treat" party, because last year, being new herself, she let it pass by unobserved as well. When Ella and Michael asked her in December, "When's Halloween going to be here, Mommy?" she was consumed with guilt, and vowed to change things in 2010. Since we've had several new ex-pat families move in, we knew there would be interest. What Tara did differently, though, that was a stroke of genius, was to include the entire complex, not just the people we knew.

Shakila's girls and Boo Boo, Jim behind them.

Invitations were created and delivered to every door in Istinye Park. It explained what Halloween was, how trick or treating works, how to participate--or not. We weren't really sure if the Turkish families would choose to participate, but we knew that extending the invitation was the right thing to do. We also included any other families in Istanbul that we thought would be interested. We invited everyone to gather at 4:00 at the pool for pictures and, the trick or treating would get underway by 5:00. I figured we might have 50 people show up.

People started pouring in by 4:00. The bar next to the pool was quickly covered up with all kinds of halloween snacks, cakes and cookies. 

Within a very short period of time, the kids deserted the bar to play outside, while the adults remained inside, socializing.   Between the costumes and the anticipation of candy, it got a little crazy out there. I had given my camera to Devlin, and later, laughed at the shots of what was happening outside, while we adults mingled.

As the party grew larger, the excitement of the children grew palpable. Having given many a birthday party in the past, it was clear there needed to be some direction given. It fell upon me to try to round them up for group photos, and lead a parade around the pool, so parents could get individual shots. 

Lining them up for the parade, beer in hand

 

Once the parade was over, they set off with their parents to begin trick or treating. I had brought a bag of American candy back with me, containing 105 pieces of Snickers, Mars bars and M and M's. I never expected to go through the entire bag, but at 8:00p.m., it was gone, and I had to turn out the lights, just like Pecan Grove.
The best part, was that the Turkish kids came out in droves! Istinye Park Management was very happy with us the next day. They thought it was a wonderful event, that brought everyone together for fun and laughter. They even asked us to consider planning a monthly event! Hmm. That will take some thought. Over the course of the following week, I got thank you emails and phone calls--one mom said that she has lived in Istanbul for 13 years, and this was by far the best Halloween her children have ever had. She said it was just like being back in America!

So, Thanks, Tara, for letting last year's disappointment turn into this year's biggest success! A real American Halloween, was enjoyed by children and adults alike, in a county far, far from home.

Mememen

One of the greatest things about living in Turkey is the food. I've eaten out more since I've lived here than I have at any other time in my life, and I've never had a bad meal. I have had a couple of cases of food poisoning, but even the food that turned to poison tasted great while I ate it.

Pictured at left, is the plate of warm menemen that I had this afternoon. It has become a habit to grab a quick lunch after Wednesday's Turkish class. There are several sidewalk cafes from which to choose in Etiler; today we chose " Mado". It's a funny little place, where the menu has 4 pages of ice cream desserts, and only one page of actual food. But everything is tasty, and you can relax outside in the sunshine, spending as long as you wish to sit and chat. A Turkish waiter will never hurry a customer out the door.

Menemen is called a Turkish omelette, but in fact it is actually scrambled eggs sauted with tomatoes, onions and peppers. I've had it at several different places, and it is always served in it's own dish, usually copper. The eggs are soft and light, never dry, and never, ever rubbery. It is always perfectly seasoned. Recipes mention just using salt and pepper, but I think there is something else in there--something I haven't quite figured out yet. At any rate, mememen is absolutely delicious--much more so than scrambled eggs or omelettes.

Here's a basic recipe for Menemen, although if you google it, you'll find lots of variations. And nothing beats eating it on a warm afternoon, overlooking the Bospherus.

Menemen
6 eggs, well-beaten
4 juicy tomatoes, peeled and diced
1 onion, finely chopped
4 fresh banana peppers, finely chopped
1/2 bunch flat leaf parsley, finely chopped
2 tsp spicy pepper flakes
1 tsp black pepper
salt
1-2 tbsp butter or oil, or combination

Nothing is written in stone, so you can use more or less of anything above. Feel free to add add pitted and chopped olives, garlic, or cheese.

-In a frying pan heat oil and add onion. Cook on medium until they're soft and then add fresh peppers.
-Once they're cooked, pour in tomatoes, salt, and both peppers. Wait until tomatoes cook down a little. -Stir in beaten eggs and stir constantly.
-Right before eggs are cooked,  add chopped parsley.

Re-entry!

Entrance to our flat: Kamelya B

We are back home in Istanbul after a lovely 8 week summer break. What a difference a year makes! Instead of feeling amazed and awestruck, yet disoriented and disconnected, we feel ourselves in comfortable and familiar surroundings. When we moved into Istinye Park last year, there were two other expat families living here besides ourself. Over the past 6 months, several new consulate and world bank families have arrived. I think the total is closer to 25 now. I find myself in the delightful position of being an old-timer, and not a newcomer.

Last year, I forced myself to go to every newcomer's social event held, hating every minute of it. Walking in alone to any new group is daunting for me. You look around at all the groups of merrily chatting women and try to determine which one is most accessible. Then you go through the necessary introductions, and hope that the small talk coming from your lips is witty, or interesting or at the very least, articulate, and not just desperate babbling. After all, your intent is to find friends, not have them roll their eyes and run for cover. I would come home from every new social outing absolutely wiped out.

But in the long run, the effort paid off. By the end of the year, I had made a few close friends and several amiable acquaintances. I even hosted an impromptu girl's night out party at our place for all the ex-pat women in our complex, which was tons of fun. I left Istanbul feeling upbeat and optimistic.

We landed Tuesday night, and were promptly thrown back into life Wednesday morning, despite only 4 hours sleep. Jim went back to work, Devlin went back to school, and I had a PTA committee meeting to attend. Friday, I was at school welcoming newcomers to the IICS PTA, conscripting willing volunteers to serve on committees. Saturday was the school Welcome Picnic. I had great sympathy for those newcomers walking in, with that slightly bewildered, deer in the headlights look in their eyes, due to jet lag and new culture indoctrination. And so thankful that I wasn't one of them! I worked hard at meeting as many new families as I could, and that evening I was again wiped out--but in a good way. I was exhilerated and excited about how much more fun life was going to be this year. A year filled with friends, with laughter and with purpose.

It's going to be a great year!